SHUT UP SHELLY

The Circus continues... 

Writer’s Block. Mediocrity. I don’t want either of these things. I want them both to piss off. Now. Like… legit…NOW. Bye Felicia… (*is that still a thing?) 

I think maybe my writers block is coming right now because of my busy mind. It’s a BUSY BUSY place and it’s driving me nuts! Truly. I wonder if that is a major factor in driving some artists MAAADDDD! Another word for it, or so I’m told, is “Monkey Mind”. Anyone? Yep… my brain is FULL of those jerks. Like daily. And of course I have learned over the years that this can be combatted by meditation and true silence and stillness. So, why don’t I do what I know to do? I struggle with this big time. My body wants to get up and do. My mind wants to run through every single thing that has ever happened in my life. Like…EVERYTHING. And I KNOW how good it feels to be still. And yet, I fail at it. Daily. Ugh…………………………… 

If anyone has some good advice on this, I welcome it! I need to do something because this very thing leads me to my NEXT issue… 

MEDIOCRITY! 

I LOATHE Mediocrity. I just don’t think there is any excuse for it. And yet I find myself feeling extremely MEDIOCRE lately. This probably has a LOT to do with my monkey mind, and my busyness which is keeping me from TRULY listening to the divine pull inside of me. The one that IS where creativity comes from.  I think the information that I’ve been taking into my brain lately has a major affect on me and these issues too. Like ‘Leaving Neverland’ and ‘SERIAL’. (*and yet I continue to find these shows intriguing) 

Ugh……………………… 

I think it’s becoming extremely hard to feel good about people. And I’ve ALWAYS been one that tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. My heart is shattered by the things that happen to innocent people. And the webs that we all seem to weave… dear GOD. I’m baffled by all of it! I admit…I’ve woven a few doozies in my life, which for SURE make up a lot of the monkeys in my mind. This is probably what also makes me feel mediocre. WTH?!?! THE CIRCUS CONTINUES… 

I mean, does anyone else smell what I’m steppin in? I KNOW it isn’t just me. I gotta find some ways to level the playing field here. I love being positive and looking for the goodness around me. And I love speaking that out loud and watching the goodness that comes from it. Positivity. YES! But I also feel these other things… and I guess I just feel like talking about those things too. Sometimes. But not all the time cuz then I’m just “Debby F’ing Downer” and who wants to be friends with HER??!?!??! 

Any thoughts on these things are welcomed……… BAM! 

#walkingeachotherhome 

Xoxo - me*

CRIME SHOWS. PILLS. WTF?!?! 

Happy Presidents Day to everyone! Except to those of you who live in different countries and don’t actually have presidents. Sooooooo... Happy Presidents Day to you Americans reading this silly post by me!  

Ok, so I’m gonna share with you a few things that have been wrecking my brain lately.  

 

 

#1 - Psychopaths. I mean, is ANYONE else as obsessed with Crime shows and podcasts as we are in The Fairchild house? I’m so confused as to why this is so disturbing and yet so addicting. First of all… there seems to ALWAYS be a pattern that develops very early in the lives of most murderers (not that all psychopaths are murderers… another thing I’ve learned in my extensive google-ing) So, why is this kept silent until its too late? I don’t understand… except my thought is… maybe parents and other family members just don’t want to believe that their kids could potentially be murderers. I mean, I KNOW that’s a really sad thought. And the mental health care system is jacked. It’s SO expensive for treatment, and health insurance mostly doesn’t cover it. So, I get that part. I just don’t understand why more isn’t being done to remedy this problem. It’s been YEARS and YEARS of mass killings and mental health issues blamed for criminal activities across the entire planet. What is going on here?! I’m so confused. And honestly.. kinda scared. I mean pretty scared. Like, last night… we finished watching True Detective’s latest episode and I was all like…. “Hey babe… can you walk downstairs with me so I can change the laundry… I'm kinda creeped out.”  I mean, SERIOUSLY?! I’m grown, but that shit is still scary.  

#2 - Child Protective Services. WHY is this such a faulty system??? Again, the Fairchild’s on a road trip… listening to the podcast “Broken Harts” about a lesbian couple who adopted two sets of 3 siblings. They drove them off a cliff! They were able to run away from 3 different states and the DCS. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??!?!?! And I’ve been reading a bit about the issues that are all up in the Protective Services Departments for children. I don’t understand. So many abuse calls and complaints that are covered up. So many deaths. Why? Why is this system so FLAWED? Anyone? It is my understanding that there are SO many instances where DCS is called on a domestic abuse case and they never even look into it. HOW IN THE WORLD???!!!! Can someone please shine a light on this for me? Thank you in advance… 

#3 - PILLS. WTF?! I mean, I take an anti-depressant. I wish I didn't have to. But I do. I've tried not being on it, but it saves my life. Truly. BUT all these addictions to all these pills? How do people do anything on them? How do you functionr? Or is that the point? No functioning....??????  What are people so sad about? What hurts too much to feel? THIS IS WRECKING MY HEART AND HEAD!!!!!! (*Just one of the reasons I actually NEED my meds...)

#4 - Gratitude. I mean, this isn't WRECKING my brain.. but I feel like I just can't say that crazy stuff up there and not say something positive. Lordy...

I’ve been thinking of how grateful I am that I can afford therapy. And that I have good parents. I’m grateful that I wasn’t shipped off to "conversion therapy" when I came out to my parents (even tho I was older when I came out and I would have just ignored that whole conversation — some kids aren’t so lucky). I’m grateful that I have a voice. Not talking about the singing kind. I mean, this kind. The one that can type up random things and know that at least 3 or 4 people will read and respond. Cause really… I’ve been thinking about this whole social media world. I don’t really like it. And then I love it. It’s such a roller coaster. It does help to stay in contact with other people. And actually kinda know what is kinda going on in their lives. At any rate, I wanna know what other people know. I wanna hear from anyone who wants to weigh in on this stuff I’m chattin about… seriously.  

And... thank you! 

Love, 

Me*

DAMN GIRL 

Some of my favorite moments from last night’s #grammys (*all images courtesy of random insta posts... thank you random photogs) 

 Also... long post alert 

 All of these amazing #women are TOTALLY making it happen!!! Just LOOK at them!!! Listen to them... they have SO much to say. Life doesn’t just “happen” to us. We make choices... we have been fighting for the right to make choices all of our lives. And It’s not perfect, but loooooook what we are doing! And by the way... there are #LESBIANS in this group. And they are #winning !!! Shocking to all who have tried so hard to keep THAT from happening!!!!!! And SHAME ON YOU btw. 

#allkindsofpeople exist. All ethnicities and sexual orientations. Not just the kinds of people that make you feel comfortable. Just look around you and let it sink in. Give people of all kinds a TRUE chance. You WILL be ok. 

I am a woman in the music industry. I’m now over 40, I’m not super skinny and I’m gay. I’ve given my entire life to music and to the business that it is, was & will be. I may never see any awards for it... but I am SO inspired that these women haven’t stopped doing the hard work to be heard and seen. Im inspired by ALL of the singers and songwriters that I know ... that may never be up on that stage. The whole world may never know your name or mine, but you don’t give up.  It all starts and ends with us. Period. Without them...without us...without art... no award shows would be. There would be no need for social media plans or the “branding” or all of the “games” that are played around it all. And there  also wouldn’t be life. Art is life.  And it all starts with the artist. With us. We must keep making it happen. 

I so appreciate what @champagnepapi was trying to say when they cut him off. He was just saying... you don’t have to have awards to know you mean something...to know that you are indeed doing divine work. It’s an interesting monster of a thing...accolades. I admit that I measure my success or lack thereof by the accolades that I have or haven’t received. Not always, but often. I do. Often. And so I am grateful for every person that got up last night and mentioned #mentalhealth and #belief in oneself. The encouragement helps. It helps everyone. 

️One last thing::: (or 2) 

@tronian And @thesilverseas Are so very kind and genuinely masterful at what they do and who they are. I am soooo happy that they are being seen and heard. #deserving 

And the last thing.... @dollyparton Has always been my #1 favorite and @mileycyrus Is completely a FN #BOSS #damngirl